Starting with the vivaha, so jati karma is performed by the relatives, the girl is being bathed before the marriage. The boy’s name is written on the leaf and so this is the first time she is being touched by the boy, not directly, but through the water. It creates a very interesting samskaras in that you are connecting the touch of the boy with purification so it should be on a pure platform, not a mundane platform.
You are asking Lord Visnu to bring the bride and groom together, she has been performing her duties according to Krsna consciousness. You can see those who want to have children perform austerities, so by the autsterity of performing her religious duties, creation is there.
Taking prajapati as the second face, then one sees the Supreme Lord. Devotees are always absorbed in seeing the Supreme Lord. In other words, you are showing where the mundane connects to the transcendental.
Then we have sampradanam, giving away the bride. The groom is welcomed by the girl’s father. The father gives his daughter away. He accepts.
After other elements of purification, then the girl is coming. They come out, she goes around seven times. They exchange garlands, now they interact. Exchange of garland means they are married, gandharva. This marriage is brahmana. By she giving the garland, she accepts, then he accepts her. The boy has also accepted through the father to take that responsibility.
The hands are stuck together – a bond. Flowers & kusa grass, everything will be very pleasant and also very pure according to ritual. The father gives her away and his responsibility is done.
Then you have the kama-stuti. The boy recognizes the L in all the aspects. . . You are performing your duties and seeing the l everywhere. The attraction one finds in family life, wife, children is actually Krsna. It is cupid, Pradyumna. It’s not just you say, “Oh, it’s Krsna. . .” and then you want to enjoy Krsna. You have to serve Krsna.
That means you have to take care of the girl as if she is the property of Prajapati Visnu. She is not just your wife, you can do whatever you like, she is the property of Visnu and you have to take care of her like you would take care of deity stuff.
If we notice here, the love is something else and we come in contact with it. You can take it in the external, his love, her love, but this is in line with the Lord and the material energy, you have attraction for the material energy, that is Krsna, but if it is done in accordance with guru, sadhu, sastra, that is also Krsna. It is going through the universal form and coming through the universal form. You get the experience, but it is not yours. As soon as you take it yours, you don’t have the experience. It’s God’s and he gets the experience, but he is kind to allow you to also get the experience, that is the yoga-maya. He is enjoying, you take part in the pastime to assist him in that and you enjoy, too. The servant enjoys like the king, but he cannot claim it as his. The attraction and attachment, if you see it in relation to Krsna and that it is not yours, but Krsna’s, you will experience it, but you will see that this wife, children belong to Krsna, everything is Krsna’s, I use it for Krsna.
A marriage is the most central point in human life. Anything else you do may be a big party or not. Marriage is always. Everyone goes to weddings. It is the most central feature of human society. Anyone will be paying much attention here. This is the more intimate aspect of the marriage ceremony, romantic, but it is all about Krsna. You are creating an experience generated around K, that is samskara. Otherwise, samskara just means impression. If you see a billboard that attracts your attention, that is samskara, it leaves an impression. But this is about Krsna. GBG has created this to connect the material with Krsna. If you’re a family person, how many hours are you chanting or in the temple or taking Prasad? This is how it works, through the influence of the samkaras. You remember all these aspects.
Tying the knot, father ties. Go through so many other couples so perfectly matched.
Things that are going to be, improper activities, therefore you would be punished for that, so cows represent prosperity, may it not be influenced by our previous bad activities.
The most important part is establishing the fire, the other parts of lighting the fire are not so important. They are for keeping away raksasas and things like that.
Finally, tying the bride’s hands. The first part, before tying the hands, that can only be done if the girl is never married by the Vedic rite before or never given away by her father before, so that part you wouldn’t do. You would do the father accepting the boy, the girl circumambulating, the exchange of garlands, tying the knot, and then go into the panigrahana. The cloth, that is for the long life of the husband. This is where he blesses her.
Then sindhur danam. That would be performed in the core wedding. The sindhur, you’re dealing with activity here. Fire is there, carrying offering, breaking through all obstacles. The idea is by performance of sacrifice, your activities, it should dissolve material existence. When the wood is burnt, the fire is finished. That knowledge used for dealing with material energy is used to burn up the material aspect. Then you deal with the devotional aspect. The technical aspects, rules are not as important for those who have already burnt it up. By performance of proper activities, everything becomes nice. Then it is like streams of rushing water, it is powerful emotional exchange. No one wants a ho-hum family life. Nowadays it is not very popular, but that is why there is not very exciting family life. Rasa is based on proper performance of Krsna consciousness.
Soma, the moon, when they are very small, they are very cute. Gandharva, when they grow and develop fine features. In puberty, agni, then they can get sons. The highest wealth is sons. The husband deals with the wife in all aspects. All aspects of his dealings are meant to elevate in Krsna consciousness. He understands this, then his marriage life is successful materially and spiritually. Otherwise, neither.
Again, gain and safety, Bhagavad-gita. That is what the living entity is looking for. Religious principles are performed, you get gain and safety, that is the feminine view. Let me be taken care of there so I will be confident and safe, then there is happiness. If you want women to be gentle, you have to be gentle with them first. May I enter into his house in bliss and safety, so it is already like that. May I enter that.
Aja samskara is for the bride’s welfare, protection from death of sons or anything from previous karma.
Laj-homa, this is now the main thing. The mother of the girl puts her foot on the stone bc by her training she has learned good qualities, she knows how to deal with men, how to cook, all the feminine arts and sciences. Pp says it is the third generation that will really make it happen, so don’t worry.
Annihilate, that would mean the six enemies, obstacles in devotional service. May you not become influenced by the elements opposed to devotional service. That is the fixed. So far we haven’t heard one husband says jump, wife says how high.
Then she pours the laj, puffed rice, without opening the fingers – focus to bring them together. Wife always wants the husband to live long, but devotion should flourish. They are assisting each other, so their own commitment to each other will increase. You connect everything to Krsna and you get Krsna and all your material things will be taken care of. The marriage stays together for those who are religious, follow principles. All techniques for making marriage work are written into the ceremony.
She has performed her duties well in her house, now she’s going to her husband’s house. The same enemies the wife is not to get effected by. Now she’ll also help the husband remove enemies. Water is the rasa again, according to guru, sadhu, sastra, that you get your rasa, and it cleans. The point of grhastha asrama is how to become cleansed of those desires. By working with it, you correct yourself. If you work with it according to sastra, you will be free.
I find it is better to explain before the samskara. You sit down with the family and everybody and give details of how they tie the knot and all. It is worthwhile even bringing the people and showing them their part in it, like a rehearsal. All the Vedas have the same main rituals, but this is according to sama veda. If you want to add things to this, their traditions, that is added on to this, but you shouldn’t have where you are halfway through the wedding and you do something and someone from the crowd stands up and says that is not proper. You tell them beforehand that will not happen because this is the way we do it, according to our veda.
Cleaning of these things is still done through rasa. We tend to think it is by penance, but penance here is performance of duties. It doesn’t make sense to us, why would we do any activity and we don’t get a result. When I say, get involved and don’t expect any result, everyone just sits with a blank face. It doesn’t soak in because it is a new concept for us. Buddhi-yoga is a new concept for us. Not karma performed with knowledge without attachment. These are all different ways of how this naiskarma is being performed in family life. Your life has to be the same when you walk out the door, but it is through inferior mediums. The material still connects, but it is through the universal form. This is how you do that. We have to maturely deal with the concept of marriage – deal with it as a tool for Krsna consciousness realization. Everything connected to Krsna.
We’re talking about our acaryas’ definition of reality. The attraction – it is real, but how do you deal with it, how do you connect it with Krsna? They don’t.
If the priest thinks it is going to fail, why get involved? If you follow this, it will not fail. It is a science. The whole male-female experience is going on right now, it is happening in the universe. You happened to get a portal to connect with it.
The smarthas perform the ritual, but miss the experience. The other ones don’t know that the experience will be gained by the ritual. They think it has to be spontaneous. The smarthas just want to do what’s right. They’re both wrong, though the smartha is more pious than the ritual, but they may develop false ego, which will be detrimental for their advancement.
Girl has made sacrifice. . . Through sacrifice one becomes free.
Groom does the final offering to Acyuta, the infallible.
The seven steps. There are seven instructions. The first: Don’t let the left foot cross beyond the right. Right means religious, proper, left means against that. The tantric, black arts, are left. Always follow the duties.
First step, duties. Second, one will have influence, if you are strong, relationships will be strong. You can create good in life.
From strength comes power, you can uphold your vows, then happiness, then cows, wealth, then one is satisfied and one is able to properly focus on his spiritual activities. The last one is an instruction to maintain the previous seven instructions, including the one before the first.
Be my companion. . . The central principle is companionship because that remains for life. Romance comes and goes. That is when you can get something done, you can help each other, assist each other, make plans, do so many things as companions. Companion is based on these other principles under which you should function.
She has to accept. It is the woman who keeps the bond. If she has hope, she will maintain, if she has no hope, it is gone. She will maintain it if he performs his duties right.
Sprinkle water. May proper performance of religious duties, the rasa gained from that, bind them together. The wind god, he is guru, maintained by following the order of guru. Serving under the cit potency keeps us bound together.
Blessings.
Things are done in a way very subtle way here.
Yajna for taking out inauspiciousness that may be in the girl, physical girl, because they come from something else. Clear all those things. Doesn’t mean what she will look like, it will change the mood, which technically changes what she looks like.
She looks at the polestar.
Bhojanam.
Let your heart. . . They are each going to work for each other.
Life airs means action.
They are going to follow the path back to Godhead. The crossroads because that is where yaksas can stand. Where there are obstacles, may that be removed. May we pass the hard journey pleasantly, they don’t say it is going to be a nice time.
(It’s not so much what you have, but what you do with it. If there is a high compatibility rate, there is less chance that false ego and lack of training is going to destroy the marriage. If someone is really well trained, they are more likely to make it work. Why would the marriage be arranged to someone who is not compatible if they are well trained? Main thing is you have to be working according to authority. It is how you deal with it and handle the marriage. There is not a kavaca you can do or a mantra you can chant. It’s a hard journey. Something that gives you the most result is generally the hardest. Conjugal rasa gives the highest experience in the material world means it is the most difficult.)
Q: Will samskaras remove auspiciousness in the chart?
A: No, unless you do something about it, nothing is going to happen. It is only in action that you get any result. It is not a magic thing that you do once and forever you get result. Samskara, as an activity, is trying to teach you that by your proper Krsna conscious endeavor, you will get a result. It is not that by a little mantra you will get rid of it. It is what the mantra is saying that will do it. It all has to do with you. You deal right, it deals right.
By worshipping the Lord and devotees, everything becomes auspicious.
Q: Some stop after seven steps?
A: Garlands, sindhur, laj, going around the fire, seven steps, that is the marriage. Others are blessing and purification for the girl. If you are doing a remarriage, you wouldn’t do all the rest anyway for a girl who has gone through a Vedic marriage. It is already done. She doesn’t have to go through it again. After the seven steps, you go to the Vaisnava homa.
Garbhadanam
Visnu is the creator, Acyuta is infalliable – infalliable forms. Jagadisa is the one who is running the whole thing. Nara-narayana is also the Lord of the Bhagavat philosophy. Through Garbh Visnu, who is creating everything. He is presenting the child, but that child should be given through the medium that is Krsna conscious, Bhagavatam.
Pumsavana
Third month of pregnancy, whenever the fetus begins to move. The moon in a male constellation.
Protecting child from things while moving around.
Sumanta-nayanam
Four, six, or eight. To protect the child. Neem is purifying, mustard clears obstacles, banyan expands, ? pleasing to Krsna.
Mind starts developing in fourth month. Won’t be so mental.
Part hair.
Sosayanti
**
Child is clean and still connected to the mother. Important nutrients that go through the umbilical cord in those 5-10 minutes.
Namakarana
Blessings of the planets because they are the ones running one’s life.
Annaprasana
Dealing with life airs. According to Ayurveda, all disease comes from stomach. If digestion is good, disease does not come up.
There are over forty such samskaras, but only the ten main ones are mentioned here.
Q: Does it guarantee a male child?
A: It has the potency to do that, but you have to see if everyone along with it is potent – parents have to believe it, priest has to be qualified.
Study very nicely and then practice it. Know what is there and the mentality should be proper. Every one of these you perform, you will take karma. There is no cheap life of a priest. That is why brahmanas get daksina. Ksatriyas, vaisyas don’t get daksina because they don’t do that.
The central thing is the Vaisnava homa. From there, you add on. You can do it just in that way, or you can expand it more, or you can add on other things.
Q: In vivaha, there is so much. How do you know what to simplify?
A: The full thing is only there for the first marriage of a girl. If it’s a first generation girl, you count it from when she joined. You don’t worry about whatever happened before. At initiation, it’s a new birth. If it’s our own girls, then it’s a different story. If it’s a remarriage, then you cut out everything because it has already been done, only the vows connecting to the husband. Seven times circumambulating, the garlands, sinhur, foot on the stone, fire three times, laj homa, and saptapati gamana. That’s for remarriage or if you want to keep it really simple. That much is complete wedding. All the rest is purificatory for the girl.
The groups of mantras, you can chant the last line with all the names of Visnu. Up to the point of the father saying you are the one I accept for my daughter, you can stop there and not do the rest. You can drop the go-moksa or just chant the mantras. That is just taking a little bit off.
amazing:)
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