Question: What if we take care of our family members who are devotees? This is also spiritual activity.
BVPS: Yes, it could be, but not necessarily. Let’s say you are coming home and your kid is chanting Hare Krsna. So when you start telling him about your day, how did it go, what happened, what kind of problems you had, challenges, etc, so your kid just go on chanting? Because he is a devotee and that what the devotees do, they chant. So you are saying that if the kid reciprocates in this way, you will be happy? Because that’s way you got married; you just like to be around devotees who chant Hare Krsna. But if it is like this, way taking so much trouble to get married, to raise the child, you just go in the temple and there are plenty of devotees who sit and chant. But is this enough for you? You get the point?
You say I take care of them because they are devotees, but if it is so then there are so many devotees around you don’t take care. There are so many kids around, but you don’t care about them. You feed your own child; you take care of your own child. Not the child of the neighbor although they are also devotee’s children. Why? Because you are attached to the body of your kid, because his body is connected with your body. It is based on material attachment. You think in terms of I and mine. If you are on spiritual platform then everybody is a soul and everybody is a devotee. But you don’t see in this way and therefore you are attached to your own family members.
If it is connected to Krsna, this attachment is not a problem, therefore Krsna made the grihasta asram. But to connect it with Krsna first we have to admit that it is there. We have to admit that this is why I got married on a first place, because I am materially attached. And once this is recognized then it is a question of connecting this attachment to Krsna. In this way it becomes purified and there is no problem. The problem comes when the devotees don’t want to admit this attachment; they think I am just practical, down to earth, etc. But in this case they cannot purify it, it just stays with them.
It is said that with the same amount of endeavor that is needed to keep a family together one could run an empire. But if it is so, then why taking the trouble of family life, why put so much energy to work for the spiritual elevation of only 2-3 people, with the same amount of energy, if you go out and preach, you could benefit so many people. Not just 2-3 but many, many more. So if the main focus in your life is to help people be Krsna conscious, then the grihasta asram might not be the best situation because it seriously limits your preaching field to just few persons.
So one is not supposed to base his life on attachment only. Attachment is there, it is understood, but there are higher principles. Attachment means feeling; I feel like doing or not doing something. I feel like not sending my kids to Gurukula because I feel attached and don’t want to be separated from them. But you are going to be separated from your children anyway, there is no question about it. It is going to happen. The only choice you have is – you will be separated from them and this separation will give you a religious result, or you are going to be separated from them and this will give you irreligious result. You will either send them to Gurukula and not see them for 10-15-20 years, but when they come back they will be trained nicely and will stay with you for the rest of your life and will take care of you, or you will not send them, you will keep them at home and they will leave you anyway and will not return. So this is the choice you have. But many devotees base their life on attachment and they don’t do this because they don’t feel like doing it. This is not an elevated platform.
Yes, it is true that Manu mentions that the grihasta asram is the most important asram, but it is because it supports the other asrams. The brahmacaris, vanaprasthas, sanyasis, they are beggars, they don’t have money and they should be supported. But if the grihastas are opposed to the sanyasis and the brahmacaries, don’t support them, then they become the worst asram, in fact they cannot be considered an asram anymore, they become grihamedi. Grihamedhi means the house is in the center of ones life. Griha means house, medhi – center. Grihast means Krsna is in the center. So it is a question of consciousness.
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