Today: 3 Hopes
1) Brahmacarya
- You may avoid householder life entirely – freedom
- If one can avoid the entanglements and problems then one’s life becomes much more simplified
- It is an advantage for advancing in KC quickly and going back home back to Godhead
- One has to be patient and requires good guidance
- But it is certainly possible to stay brahmacari, happy in KC for one’s whole life
- Then one skips so many difficulties
2) One may marry and live as a householder fully in KC
- On spiritual platform there is no difference: brahmacari, grhastha, vanaprasta, sannyasi … everyone is spirit soul and devotee of Krsna
- Grhastha life or any situation (brahmacari, grhastha…) is very nice when one strictly follows the regulative principles and chants Hare Krsna in the association of devotees – then the heart is cleansed and one becomes free from all material dirt in the heart and one becomes absorbed in the service of Krsna
- These external situations (brahmacari, grhastha…) don’t matter but how one is engaged in devotional service to Krsna
- Then life is nice and the problems we are talking about are reduced down to the minimum
- There must be problems in this material world in any situation – but if one is Krsna-conscious then they are very much less
3) Sannyasa
- Householder life is temporary
- One can’t stay in one’s home forever
- One has to leave home – there are two ways: voluntarily – involuntarily
- Voluntarily leaving home is called Sannyasa – that is recommended
- At a certain age householder life may be very helpful for spiritual advancement but after some time that householder life should be given up
- By the 50th year one must leave home and go to the forest
SB 6.5.36pp
- ‘ The Vedic civilization therefore enjoins that at the end of one's fiftieth year one must give up household life. This is compulsory. However, because modern civilization is misled, householders want to remain in family life until death, and therefore they are suffering’
SB 7.5.5 ‘Prahläda Mahäräja replied: O best of the asuras, King of the demons, as far as I have learned from my spiritual master, any person who has accepted a temporary body and temporary household life is certainly embarrassed by anxiety because of having fallen in a dark well where there is no water but only suffering. One should give up this position and go to the forest [vana]. More clearly, one should go to Våndävana, where only Kåñëa consciousness is prevalent, and should thus take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead’
Pp ‘Prahläda Mahäräja recommended that his father accept vänaprastha life because as a gåhastha he was becoming increasingly demoniac due to bodily attachment. Prahläda recommended to his father that accepting vänaprastha life would be better than going deeper and deeper into gåham andha-küpam, the blind well of life as a gåhastha. In our Kåñëa consciousness movement we therefore invite all the elderly persons of the world to come to Våndävana and stay there in retired life, making advancement in spiritual consciousness, Kåñëa consciousness’
- Of course, household life in KC is not a dark well - kåñëa-sürya-sama: wherever there is Krsna there is light
- Still one should not stay in household life even if one is Krsna-conscious
- Example is set by Kardama Muni who had the SPOG Kapiladeva as his son
- What need is there to leave home if Lord Himself appeared there
- Still just to follow the Vedic injunctions for detachment from materialistic life Kardama Muni gave up his home, his very obedient and highly qualified wife and the association of his son, the SPOG Himself to go to the forest
- sadä samudvigna-dhiyäm asad-grahät - accepting something temporary - householder life is a temporary thing – one should not become attached to it – especially since it gives great anxieties – there fore eventually one should give it up
- hitvätma-pätaà gåham andha-küpaà vanaà gato yad dharim äçrayeta – one should go to the forest and take shelter of Krsna – that’s the real purpose
- The idea is that there are 4 stages to one’s life: brahmacari, grhastha then vanaprasta – there one should wind up one’s material affairs
- One should retire and finish off one’s business in this MW and get ready to get home back to Godhead and make one’s life successful
(13:33)
Room Conversation with the mayor of Evanston, Chicago, July 4 1975
- ‘So brahmacäré. Then he is, if he can remain without wife or without opposite sex, then he continues to remain as brahmacäré. He is encouraged. This process encourages to remain brahmacäré, that "Don't take to sex life, it is entailed with so many difficulties. Practice to remain a brahmacäré. You'll save so much trouble." But if he is unable—the teacher sees-Then he is allowed to marry, marriage. If he is trained up brahmacäré, when he marries, he lives with wife under rules and regulation, not like cats and dogs. And then, because he had previous training, at a certain age he gives up family life’
In KC there is hope at every stage – the Brahmacaris have great hope: stay out of trouble – otherwise if brahmacari life is too inconvenient at least the hope is there now I am trained as brahmacari my householder life will be all right, KC.
In any case whether householder life turn out all right or not at the final stage I remember my brahmacari training and go back to detached way of life
Transcendental diary – Hari Sauri dasa – July 6th 1976
- "Another difficulty is the boy and the girl, they also do not stick. That is another difficulty." I reminded him that he had said that the only real solution to these problems was to chant. Prabhupäda agreed. "That is the only solution." And then he added what he considered the best solution for both men and women. "If one can remain without marriage, that is first-class. Women also. What is the use of this material husband? Make Kåñëa husband. Kåñëa's prepared to become everything. Love Him as husband, love Him as son, love Him, friend. Kåñëa is prepared."
Alternative is there: be married or single – but in any case be Krsna-conscious
Whatever is the circumstance: You have to leave family
Païcasordhvam vanam vrajet – what ever is the circumstance:
- If wife is not so advanced – we try to help her become advanced
- If husband is not so advanced we try to help him become advanced
- Both are assisting one another in the service of Krsna
- But at a certain point: finished! – whatever you are able to achieve
- Otherwise it will never be perfect – there will always be more – therefore there is a cut-off
- Like an artist is doing a picture for our books: it is never going to be finished – there is always more that could be done – but at a certain point deadline – we take it out of your hands (or a writer)
- One has to give it up: I have done as far as possible – now I am leaving – that’s detachment
Vedic injunction: One has to break family attachment
- After 50 years: Now you have to take Sannyasa
- Vedic injunction – not optional – one must
- If one doesn’t take Sannyasa formally then still one leaves home – vanaprasta
- Because the spiritual master wants the disciple to go back to Godhead – how will they go if they stay attached even in their old age?
- Young man should perform all his duties – but an old man has no business at home – dying like a dog – he should leave home
When you are 40/45 in married life – don’t get children – leave home
- If you know that you have to leave household life in a few years why make a long- term commitment?
- In 5 years I have this responsibility to leave home so how can I get involved in something that is a 15-20 year project?
- If you did, then perform your duties responsibly and then leave
- Prabhupada commented: How degraded Ajamila had become begetting children into his old age
(30:19)
Both are nonsense: Marriage without children / marriage in old age
- Ideally one should arrange things that with 50 one can leave household life
- If you have gotten to the point that from sankirtan you have come to old age why not forget about household life altogether: sex life means trouble, marriage means trouble
- If I have already gotten this far skipping all the trouble why shall I think the last minute: Wait a minute, I missed something, let me go back!
- Somehow or other I was fortunate
- Go on with your KC – you are lucky - the best years were spent in sankirtan
- Somehow or other I was too busy thinking about materialistic life – personal comfort – stay busy up to the end and go back to Godhead without impediment
Getting married again: Chewing the chewed
- If I have already been through it and it was already a failure then why trying again
- Chewing the chewed
- I try to chew it and there was not much juice – so now if I am dissatisfied and think let me chew it again: Instead of from the left side in your mouth from the right side in your mouth – it is chewed
- Put it aside and stick to KC
At your age
- If you are 10 year old don’t act like a 4 year old
- Similarly when you are 40 don’t try to pretend that you are a teenager again – it’s grotesk and it doesn’t lead to happiness
BG 16.23 If one ignores the Vedic directions: He doesn’t become happy, perfect and go back to Godhead
- BG 16.24 To achieve happiness, perfection and the Supreme destination one must follow the Vedic direction – it is meant for happiness, perfection and the Supreme destination
- Don’t be carried away by propensities, desires, nature – follow the sastra and be happy – that’s the best advice
We don’t encourage older ladies to get married
- There was one lady a little older and she put on the white dress (cloth of renunciation) and Prabhupada was pleased
- If you are a mature or older woman dedicate the rest for Krsna and be fully engaged
- Prabhupada: What is the use of the material husband?
- GBC is making arrangements in Vrndavan for widow ladies, older ladies
- Older lady even when at home (under care of child) is setting example, giving inspiration to younger family members: Younger members are busy running around making money and she is chanting Hare Krsna, engaged in austerities – reminder that human life is meant for this
Crossroads in brahmacari asrama are illusory
- When brahmacari reaches age of 35/40 then he thinks now I have to make a decision which way I am going to go: Sannyasa or getting married – like I am at crossroads
- You are a brahmacari and doing nicely – just go on with your business: Serving the spiritual master – your whole life
- At one point in your life change to Sannyasa from one saffron cloth to another saffron cloth – it hardly makes any difference
- In Gaudiya Math there are many Brahmacaris who are staying brahmacari life long – 80 years old …
- In brahmacari asrama one can serve very comfortably
- In sannyasa asrama there are many formalities and restrictions
- As a brahmacari one can serve very freely
- Be a brahmacari for whole life and be happy
In Kali-yuga the attachment of women to men is not the same
- In previous times women would be so much attached to their husband that in the absence of their husband they would feel they were better off in a burning fire – the fire of separation was so great
- So they would voluntarily enter the fire
- Later she was forced and it became a criminal thing
- Devotion was so fixed – not expected in Kali-yuga
- Now: just remain devoted to your husband during your life – no separation
Men should be detached from wife but women are expected to be a little attached to husband
- Attached means: attached to Krsna but through the husband
- Like we are expected to be attached to the spiritual master – not because he gives us material comforts but he gives us transcendental knowledge, pure devotional service
- The husband is considered the spiritual master of the wife
- Then by remembering the husband she will also advance and go back to Godhead
- If husband is nice devotee and she follows in his footsteps then that is very nice
- Even if the husband takes Sannyasa the woman becomes very satisfied: My husband has taken Sannyasa to go back to Godhead – so I follow the same spirit
No one is independent
- Grhasta: Children are allowed only by sanction of guru
- Brahmacari: Servant of guru
- Sannyasa: Can’t just do what he likes and go anywhere he likes – he has his duty to perform – has to follow the order of his spiritual master (Like Prabhupada as ordered to preach to the English-speaking world) – otherwise independent Sannyasi means Mayavada-sannyasi – I have become the Supreme (namo Narayana) – our philosophy is to be always the servant of the servant
The tendency is there to become falsely independent therefore brahmacari life is very nice: Let me be always guided by superior devotees
When one takes Sannyasa one should keep the same mentality
Therefore Lord Chaitanya kept His brahmacari name: Chaitanya – it is not a Sannyasa title
He kept the brahmacari title because brahmacari means servant
Lord Chaitanya’s philosophy it doesn’t matter which social order of life (brahmacari, grhasta, vanaprasta, sannyasa) I remain the servant of the servant
We should be dependent on Krsna
- Either in preaching activities or ordinary household activities
- Man can’t support his family unless Krsna allows
- Man is stricken with disease and he can’t do anything – the family has to support him
- Everything is sanctioned by Krsna
- Everything depends on Krsna
- We should think: I am doing my duty but the result is up to Him
- The farmer plants his grain but he doesn’t know whether it will grow or not it is up to Krsna – It grows because Krsna sent the rain – if Krsna withheld the rain then not
- BG I send the rain – I withhold the rain
- We can’t even eat unless Krsna allows
- In illusion one thinks I am independent
- Whatever money I have is Krsna’s money and somehow or other came into my hands so now it is my duty to give it to Krsna
(54:56)
Vanaprasta-asrama
Women and men in old age can become teachers, preachers, book distributors, worship the deity, serve in so many ways …
- After raising of children now wife is also free
- Mind is peaceful after having gone through married life
- Are steady and experienced and can take responsibilities
- Now my life is meant for bhajans – finish things up
- Vanaprasta: Men and women will be all nice teachers and preachers – so much service they will be able to do – big asset for society
- Especially when we were serious in practicing KC throughout life we embrace vanaprasta and sannyasa asrama
In MW old people are a burden – because they can’t work like asses
But in spiritual life they are a great asset or resource
Jay
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