The ten commandments for kirtana in the ISKCON religion by Jayadvaita Svami

1. Thou shalt chant as many tunes as thou canst think of.

2. Thou shalt not chant any one tune for more than three minutes.

3. Thou shalt not chant the morning tune in the morning. Or if thou start with it thou shalt quickly switch to something else.

4. Thou shalt start fast, speed up, speed up more, then stop and start all over again. The more times the better.

5. If thou art the mridanga player, thou shalt always set the pace, following whatever mechanical pattern you are used to, and let the singer follow thee or go to hell.

6. Thou shalt always chant "Jaya Prabhupada," Jaya Gurudeva," Jaya Gaura-Nitai," "Jaya the names of all the Deities in your temple," and as many other "Jayas" as thou canst think of. Thou shalt never end a kirtana without those "Jayas".

7. Thou shalt always add "Jaya Radhe" to the kirtana. (And if thou canst vary it with "Jaya Sri Radhe," so much the better.)

8. Thou shalt not allow the Hare Krishna mantra to take up more then ten percent of the kirtana. And heaven forbid thou shouldest chant it all the way through.

9. If thou art Indian, thou shalt try to sound like a profesional bhajan singer. If thou art not Indian, thou shalt try to sound like an Indian devotee imitating one.

10. Thou shalt forget about the way Srila Prabhupada led a kirtana.