Brahmacarya – fanaticism or practical necessity

by Tulsi das



The inspiration for this article came from a conversation with a grihasta devotee during prasadam in the brahmacari kitchen in Mayapur. Pointing to the long line of Mayapur brahmacaries happily enjoying their lunch, my friend said: “All these brahmacaries have sexual desires. Therefore they should get married and stop pretending to be advanced renunciates.”

I will explain further down why this conclusion is not supported by guru, sastra and sadhu.

Brahmacarya is the first of the four ashrams. It is meant for spiritual education which leads to realization of one’s true nature. Because of this the activities in the brahmacary asrama are the studies of sastra and menial service. These are the proper medicines for reducing the ignorance of the conditioned soul.

In the brahmacari asrama one should develop good qualities like self control, respect for authority, humility, selflessness, service attitude, etc. These qualities will be the basis of success in all undertakings in the later stages in life. These are the qualities that make a good brahmacari, grihasta, vanaprastha, or sannyasi. If one does not acquire such qualities as a brahmacari, one could develop them later in life, but it will be more difficult and one may have to go through the school of hard knocks to learn his lesson.

One of the main lessons a brahmacari should learn during his training is to control the urges of his senses and especially the sex desire. The control of the sex desire is so important because it is the main binding force in this material world. In the purport to Bhagavad-gita 3.39 Srila Prabhupada writes:

"In the material world, the center of all activities is sex, and thus this material world is called maithunya-agara, or the shackles of sex life. In the ordinary prison house, criminals are kept within bars; similarly, the criminals who are disobedient to the laws of the Lord are shackled by sex life. Advancement of material civilization on the basis of sense gratification means increasing the duration of the material existence of a living entity. Therefore, this lust is the symbol of ignorance by which the living entity is kept within the material world. While one enjoys sense gratification, it may be that there is some feeling of happiness, but actually that so-called feeling of happiness is the ultimate enemy of the sense enjoyer."

In the purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 2.6.20 Srila Prabhupada writes:

"The climax of the system of varnasrama-dharma, or sanatana-dharma, is clearly expressed here in this particular verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam. The highest benefit that can be awarded to a human being is to train him to be detached from sex life, particularly because it is only due to sex indulgence that the conditioned life of material existence continues birth after birth. Human civilization in which there is no control of sex life is a fourth-class civilization because in such an atmosphere there is no liberation of the soul encaged in the material body. Birth, death, old age and disease are related to the material body, and they have nothing to do with the spirit soul. But as long as the bodily attachment for sensual enjoyment is encouraged, the individual spirit soul is forced to continue the repetition of birth and death on account of the material body, which is compared to garments subjected to the law of deterioration."

Step by step the brahmacari has to learn to control the sex desire on a gross and subtle level. Once this control is attained he can either continue as a brahmacari, or, if he still has a desire to be a family man, he can enter in the grihasta asrama. Both possibilities are good provided one has acquired the proper qualification.

Of course, the brahmacari training takes time. We cannot expect that bhakta Jose, who spent the last 20 years of his life in the gutter, will become a pure devotee after 2 weeks in the temple. Or even after 2 years. We have to be patient and tolerant. If our children are behaving improperly we are not supposed to become mad with them, we should tolerate. We know that by proper schooling gradually they will learn how to be good persons. In the same way we should be patient with the brahmacaries who are considered the children of the society.

Since the devotee has attained self control and many other good qualities in the brahmacary asrama, as a grihasta he will not use his position for sense enjoyment. Rather he will endeavor to help his family members in their journey back to Godhead. As stated in sastra:

"One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated birth and death should never become a spiritual master, a father, a husband, a mother or a worshipable demigod." (Srimad Bhagavatam 5.5.18)

This is the reason why the brahmacary training in the beginning of life is so important. It is a necessary requirement for the development of good personal character and for the proper functioning of the whole social structure. The properly trained brahmacaries are the future successful grihastas, vanaprastas and sannyasis. Part of being a successful grihasta is to be able to quit the grihasta asram at the proper time. Only a grihasta who was a good brahmacari can give up the family life without delay and grudge:

"A householder attached to family life can easily give up such a life of sex indulgence if he has been trained in the principles of the life of a brahmacari. A householder is recommended to quit home at the end of fifty years (pancasordhvam vanam vrajet) and live a life in the forest; then, being fully detached from family affection, he may accept the order of renunciation as a sannyasi fully engaged in the service of the Lord. Any form of religious principles in which the followers are trained to pursue the vow of celibacy is good for the human being because only those who are trained in that way can end the miserable life of material existence." (Srimad Bhagavatam 2.6.20, purport)

The family life is a serious challenge and ideally only well trained brahmacaries are qualified to take it up. Once Kadamba Kanana Swami said:

“If someone is just lusty and he wants to get married to satisfy his senses, we don’t give him a wife. If one is very lusty he has to work hard in the brahmacary asrama to purify himself and only then he should be allowed to become a grihasta.”

The theory that one should change his position from brahmacari to grihasta just because he has sexual desires is not supported by sastra. Changing the material circumstances is not the best way to deal with one’s material desires. Rather sastra recommends tolerating such desires and purifying them in the fire of sankirtana-yajna. In Bhagavad-gita 2.70 the Lord says:

"A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires—that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still—can alone achieve peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires."

In Bhagavad-gita 5.23 it is said:

"Before giving up this present body, if one is able to tolerate the urges of the material senses and check the force of desire and anger, he is well situated and is happy in this world."

Of course, to tolerate the urges of the senses is easy when one has attained a higher taste, the goal of the vaidhi-bhakti:

"The embodied soul may be restricted from sense enjoyment, though the taste for sense objects remains. But, ceasing such engagements by experiencing a higher taste, he is fixed in consciousness." (BG 2.59)

The way to develop a higher taste is to serve the pure devotees of the Lord and to listen from them Krishna katha. (As already mentioned, these two - studies and menial service - constitute the main practices in the brahmacari asram.) In the famous conversation between Lord Caitanya and Ramananda Raya the Lord recommended that one stays in his position and try to hear about Krishna:

"Those who, even while remaining situated in their established social positions, throw away the process of speculative knowledge and with their body, words and mind offer all respects to descriptions of Your personality and activities, dedicating their lives to these narrations, which are vibrated by You personally and by Your pure devotees, certainly conquer Your Lordship, although You are otherwise unconquerable by anyone within the three worlds."

In a purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 1.9.26 Srila Prabhupada writes:

"The varnas are, so to speak, classifications of different occupations, and asrama-dharma is gradual progress on the path of self-realization. Both are interrelated, and one is dependent on the other. The main purpose of asrama-dharma is to awaken knowledge and detachment. The brahmacari asrama is the training ground for the prospective candidates. In this asrama it is instructed that this material world is not actually the home of the living being. The conditioned souls under material bondage are prisoners of matter, and therefore self-realization is the ultimate aim of life. The whole system of asrama-dharma is a means to detachment. One who fails to assimilate this spirit of detachment is allowed to enter into family life with the same spirit of detachment. Therefore, one who attains detachment may at once adopt the fourth order, namely, renounced, and thus live on charity only, not to accumulate wealth, but just to keep body and soul together for ultimate realization. Household life is for one who is attached, and the vanaprastha and sannyasa orders of life are for those who are detached from material life. The brahmacari-asrama is especially meant for training both the attached and detached."

Another important principle is that we should have equal criteria for the brahmacaries and for grihastas. If we are very strict in following the duties of our own asram then only we can demand the same strictness from the members of the other asramas. And if we are lenient with ourselves we should be lenient with others too.
It is not proper to have very high Satya-yuga standards for the brahmacaries and sannyasis, and very low, Kali-yuga standards for the grihastas. For example: “The brahmacaries should not see or even think about women, they should not have money and independence. But on other hand, the grihastas can have low standards in following the regulative principles and chanting their 16 rounds. After all it is Kali-yuga and we are not fanatics.”

These double standards are not an honest position.

If the varnasrama program is followed properly and the well trained brahmacaries become grihastas, they will be able to provide real protection for the new generation of brahmacaries. The grihastas will sympathize with the brahmacaries remembering their own happy brahmacary days. They will be able to give good advices to the brahmacaries and in some cases will be qualified to give them even full training, since they themselves were good brahmacaries in the past.
Thus in cooperation between the different asramas, with the goal of pleasing Krishna, everyone will be happy and prosperous.