One of the legendary seminars by HH Jayadvaita Swami. Enjoy:
Alarming rate of divorces, remarriages, failed marriages
- There are false assumptions we enter into household life and when assumptions are not met we think there is something wrong and take to rather harsh remedies
Grhastas vs. Grhamedis
- Grhasta: Krsna-conscious – goal is spiritual advancement
- Grhamedi: Interested in sex enjoyment – Prabhupada: in materialistic way of life the centre of interest is the genitals of the wife – has to do a lot of work for his sensual adventures
Pros – Householder life
- Good institution for spiritual life: Offers steady situation in an insecure society
- Many acaryas were householders: Bhaktivinoda Thakur, of 12 Mahajanas 7 were householders, we have ideal household couples within ISKCON
- Grhasta asrama supports other 3 spiritual orders
Cons – Householder life
- Blanked statements of SB about unpleasant things in household life is referred to materialistic household life
- Still devotees are not exemptions from difficulties
- 5. Canto: Jada Bharata describes the forest of enjoyment – analogies are used – all kinds of persons, things are described that give him a hard time
- The more you try to enjoy the more you are slapped by Maya
- Householder life is an arrangement for enjoyment – a concession for sex life
- Enjoyment means sex – without the impelling force of sex enjoyment what is left in this MW? Everyone would skip it and go back to Godhead – Maya would lose its force
- 3.Canto: When Brahma saw conditioned souls were not sufficiently entangled in material existence then he created the form of woman
- As soon as there is that pair of man and woman Maya becomes very powerful
- When man and woman unite a hard knot forms in the heart: Then home, then land, then children, relatives, money – then one becomes bewildered thinking I am this body and this is mine
- The usual plan of enjoyment for conditioned souls is the plan of association with the opposite sex – that tendency is very strong
- Therefore Vedic society regulates that so that he does not become totally lost or frustrated – You can have but in a limited form
- Vedic plan is actually to avoid sex life completely: Brahamcari, Vanaprasta, Sannyasa asrama
- Whole plan is to restrict sex life – even in householder life it is so restricted that there is almost no sex
- Why should it be restricted?
- Ex of liquor: If you want to buy you have to buy it in a liquor shop, must be over a certain age, pay huge taxes: Because it is not good – bread for example can buy anywhere, without age restrictions, no tax it is good
- Therefore sex should be avoided as far as possible
- It causes so much trouble:
- Main Problem: Sex brings about forgetfulness of Krsna which causes so much trouble to the conditioned soul
- Whole problem of material existence is the problem of forgetting Krsna
- Right hear the root of that problem is that attachment to sex life
Sex life -> Forgetfulness of Krsna -> Material existence
Householder life is constitutionally troublesome
- Because householder life means sex life either restricted or unrestricted
- Sex life means trouble
- Or in general material enjoyment means trouble – the more I want to enjoy the more I am in trouble
- The more one forgets Krsna the more troublesome it is – to the degree we are Krsna-conscious we can reduce the problems
Brahmacari - Sannyasi:
- Constitutionally an asrama of freedom
- Association with women restricted done to the point of nil -> Therefore it is immediately freedom
- Prabhupada: If one can stay Brahmacari he is 50% liberated
- Because one has removes oneself what is THE cause (or anchor) of material existence
- When one is entangled in association with opposite sex one first has to get free from that – One has to counteract this by very strong KC
- Sometimes it says you can’t: 2.Canto: First have to get out of grhasta asrama to get liberated
- Or when you are completely KC-conscious then it doesn’t matter but that’s not so easy
Brahmacari has it easy:
- Chants Hare Krsna
- Serves the spiritual master
- Preaches
- Engages in the service of Lord in various ways
- Has nothing to do with earning a living, maintaining a family
He is really a free soul
Householder
- Has so many material responsibilities
- Though done for Krsna they are material responsibilities that are in relationship with his body
- These things are required in householder life
Training asrama is brahmacari asrama
- Person who gets married is supposed to be trained
- If he hasn’t been trained as Brahmacari his householder life will be troublesome
- Brahmacari means: He is taught how to control the senses
- If he doesn’t know how to control his senses he will have an enormously difficult time in householder life – and so has his wife
- Training to responsibility is the brahmacari-asrama
- Grhasta-asrama is the acceptance of responsibility
- Of course Brahmacaris also have responsibilities: preaching, serving the spiritual master
- If one takes up Grhasta-asrama as a matter of duty one is well-situated
- If one takes it up as path of enjoyment he is going to be frustrated
Some are more responsible and some are less
Some who will never be responsible
- Prabhupada: Some are just not fit to be householders – they can’t do it – they get overwhelmed one way or the other
- Unsuitable candidates who shouldn’t get married – they can’t do it
- Better they stay brahmacari
- If you can’t perform the duties don’t take up the asrama
- If you can’t perform the duties of a householder don’t become a householder
Householder life means responsibility
Brahmacari life means tapasya, hard work but it is of a different nature
Problem of protection of women within institution has not been solved yet
- Prabhupada started but then changed his course
- Every approach of solving that problem hasn’t solved the problem
- Srila Prabhupada’s attempt to get everyone nicely married in the beginning created so much difficulty – Prabhupada became disgusted in the end - it didn’t work
- Prabhupada ended up with: Let them marry at their own risk – or alternatively let them stay celibate, women, too
- Householder life had some many problems even amongst his disciples that he was no longer willing to arrange it and push it but only sanction it: Let them get married at their own risk and accept the responsibilities and consequences
All men should stay single and all women should get married
SB 5.18.19 Only Narayana is the real husband and protector
Only real solution for all the problems of life
- Control of the senses and engagement in the service of the Lord – then we get free from trouble
- Otherwise the more we want to enjoy the senses we get in trouble
Brahmacari
- Controls his senses
- Engages in service of Krsna and spiritual master
- Sanskrit-dictionary definition: Person who is moving towards Brahman
- Person always going in that direction is a brahmacari
- Otherwise if he is thinking about satisfying his senses he is not able to stay brahmacari because he is agitated from the brahmacari-platform
Legal or illegal, sex life causes problems
Problem is the body – family life means more bodies therefore more problems …
But for one who is Krsna-conscious he transcends the problems
Brahmacari-asrama as material asrama one is 50% liberated (when Krsna-conscious)
- The same can’t be said about grhasta asrama
- However if both are Krsna-conscious they become free
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